Diary of a Confused Mom: August 30th 2015

Little Z is into scribbling these days. 

He sit happily and makes lot marks on his paper. A couple of times he ventured his artistic talents on the wall next to him and I cleaned it up and reminding him sweetly, "only on paper." He would nod and chirp "ok," so nicely that I really thought he'd oblige.

Today, he was upstairs and awfully quiet, so I went to check on him. I had one of those moments that closely resemble the mom who came home to find her two young kids had covered her living room in white fluffy flour. Her voice saying "oh my gosh" in a pained whisper kept playing in my ear as I scanned our top floor. 

He'd made it his canvas with an orange marker and an assortment of colored pencils. His scribble marks were everywhere. The desk. The stair rails. The plastic toy boxes. His new clothes. His delicate skin. And every. Single. Wall.

We started steaming and wiping away. I've recently discovered that our steamer is probably my most treasure possession in this phase of life. We were so focused that I realized Little Z was once again out of sight and very quiet. So I ran back downstairs to find him covered in ointment. One shower later we have no orange marker lines and a very greasy little fellow.

Thought of the day:

Stress is man-made.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 28th 2015

I think Little Z has developed the ability to raise his body temperature and running fake fever that entitles him to be picked up early from nursery. Today was the third time I pick him up due to a low grade fever, and then once home - nothing. The first time this happened, I thought both my thermometers weren't working. The doctor confirmed he was perfectly fine. Just a toddler and already devising ways to get out of school!

This afternoon he also graced me with a full fledged fit. The irrational, nothing-on-this-earth-will-soothe-me kind of fit. I was impressed that, this didn't phase me nearly as much as it used to. I packed a screaming toddler (I'm pretty sure the entire neighborhood could hear him) into the car seat - against his will - and strapped him in. Then I drove calmly and slowly trying to soothe with some words and songs but knowing that as the screams got louder I should speak less.

It took less than five minutes. I drove home, settled him into bed and then plopped down on the couch remembering a recent conversation I had with another mother of three, who's 4 year old was just about to start preschool. 

She was pretty upset because he was her last and this meant the end a phase. I completely related and even almost teared up. His first are definitely my lasts, as the blogger with three children had eloquently said in her post that had moved me to tears.

Then the mom said, "Now what do I do?" 

Surprisingly, that remark totally startled me. All I could think was, I have enough project ideas to fill my lifetime if I could ever be spared more than 10 minutes to myself to focus.


Thought of the day:

The more I experience, the more I realize how limited my experience is.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 27th 2015

We've been trying to leave a wheat-free life for about a week now and O has thrown unimaginable fits about his diet change. It's funny when he describes how his friends and relishing their pizzas and chubby sandwiches while he munches on alfalfa sprouts. It's also kind of funny to watch how he rushes to the fridge and binges on a loaf of bread in the evening and his muscles relax after he's had his 'fix.'

But the fits aren't funny at all. And they go on and on and on. Every day. It's exhausting. Helps that my wheat-less life is making me calmer and more energetic though.


Thought of the day:

I think there is a negative correlation between true faith and talking to everyone about how strong and true your faith is. I know this because I did some research. By watching people and deciding this is probably true.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 24th 2015

The coolest thing happened to me this morning. I packed up Little Z in his stroller for a walk/grocery run and just as I turned the corner I saw a falcon, right there on the fence, within arm's reach, staring right at me!

I was so excited, I started telling the falcon how exciting it was to see it. Naturally the poor thing fled the babbling woman and perched in a tree.

These fascinating creatures have been hanging around on the power lines outside. We keep hoping it doesn't get to backyard bunny (the hare we discovered in our backyard) or the new tiny newborn hare we found the other day under my car. Although, if they ever witnessed it, I know my boys would relish the experience of live predator/prey action.

What an honor to come face to face with our falcon.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 20th 2015

O was frustrated last night as he shared with me that he has been pondering (rather impatiently) his "reason for being on this earth," and his greater purpose in life.

I was gently informing him that many people take a long time to figure that out, and I gave myself as an example. At this point he squirmed violently and yelled out "You know your reason for being here! You were put on this earth to be a great mom!"

Secretly delighted, I couldn't help but wonder where this young man was that morning when, once again, my 'rules' had made me the target of his hatred and misery.

Diary of a Confused Mom August 19th 2015

I love the first few moments right after the rain stops. For a short while everything is so crisp, fresh still and absolutely beautiful. I can feel my whole being relax in those moments.

Diary of a Confused Mom August 18th 2015

One off to Middle School, one off to Elementary School and one off to Preschool. Not to complain but it's incredibly silent here.