Little Z is home from nursery today. He's coughing and not entirely sick but not entirely well. So I kept him home.
All of a sudden the management of my new found freedom comes into sharp focus. What was I thinking when I wondered how to live without a toddler tripping me up?
Thought of the day:
Today, relate most to salmon. They find a way to successfully swim against the current. (Which makes me remember and miss Alaska dearly - the small footprint of earthly heaven).
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Diary of a Confused Mom: September 29th 2015
Thought of the day:
I am not who I used to be but who I chose to become.
I am not who I used to be but who I chose to become.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Diary of a Confused Mom: September 27th 2015
O surprised me today. He overheard his father and I discussing parenting coaching and workshops and chimed in with "Mommy doesn't need any parenting coaching."
He said it like it was an indisputable truth.
And this is despite the fact that, earlier in the day - due to their behavior and unbearable sinus headaches- I had told them that I was quitting motherhood.
He said it like it was an indisputable truth.
And this is despite the fact that, earlier in the day - due to their behavior and unbearable sinus headaches- I had told them that I was quitting motherhood.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Diary of a Confused Mom: September 24th 2015
Little Z tossed his toothbrush onto the ground after he finished brushing. I asked him to pick it up and put it on the bathroom counter where it belonged.
And, because I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old, I was surprised that -just like that, without discussion or complaint- he complied!
And, because I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old, I was surprised that -just like that, without discussion or complaint- he complied!
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Diary of a Confused Mom: September 23rd 2015
Today Little Z was literally tugging ad pulling at me to take him to nursery.
I'm delighted he's happy there. I really am. I would have been incredibly miserable if it wasn't a place he felt safe and happy. We both need it and it's a good thing.
But then when my plans with friends this morning got cancelled, I suddenly felt lost. I started thinking about errands I needed to run and reminiscing about how much fun he and I had going to the stores and chattering and singing.
Seriously, what is wrong with me?
I'm suddenly too tired and gloomy to do anything. I'm missing my toddler in the few hours he's away and I think it has just hit me that I need to realize and embrace the fact that I'm going through a transition.
Life with a little more me time. It sounds so desirable and yet I guess it just hit me that I need to adjust to it. To understand it and to re-learn how to navigate it. Life, as a grown up. Yikes!
I'm delighted he's happy there. I really am. I would have been incredibly miserable if it wasn't a place he felt safe and happy. We both need it and it's a good thing.
But then when my plans with friends this morning got cancelled, I suddenly felt lost. I started thinking about errands I needed to run and reminiscing about how much fun he and I had going to the stores and chattering and singing.
Seriously, what is wrong with me?
I'm suddenly too tired and gloomy to do anything. I'm missing my toddler in the few hours he's away and I think it has just hit me that I need to realize and embrace the fact that I'm going through a transition.
Life with a little more me time. It sounds so desirable and yet I guess it just hit me that I need to adjust to it. To understand it and to re-learn how to navigate it. Life, as a grown up. Yikes!
Diary of a Confused Mom: September 22nd 2015
I let Little Z take his nap at nursery today. I showed up at noon and hovered around anticipating his trauma.
Apparently, he just took his blankets and dozed right off. Not a care in the world.
I thought "That's..umm..great."
Or is it? Here I am a supposedly 'seasoned' mom that knows the drill, and yet I'm feeling a little confused. Is he just letting go without a fuss?
I wonder which one of us has the separation issues?
Apparently, he just took his blankets and dozed right off. Not a care in the world.
I thought "That's..umm..great."
Or is it? Here I am a supposedly 'seasoned' mom that knows the drill, and yet I'm feeling a little confused. Is he just letting go without a fuss?
I wonder which one of us has the separation issues?
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Diary of a Confused Mom: September 18th 2015
Little Z is developing his own unique personality.
He will ask to go to nursery now, and ask to wear his gorilla T-shirt.
He takes his little stool and sets it up in front of the fridge (which he can now open - gasp!) and then he starts selecting what he wants.
He reads his little books as he turns the pages.
He tells short stories to narrate our lives in real time.
Now that he can get into any kitchen cabinet, despite the child lock, I have had to rearrange the location of some things - especially my cleaning sprays.
He clearly tells me when he doesn't want something or doesn't want to do something.
He also dictates who gets to strap him in the car seat and who pushes his stroller (if he agrees to get in it).
At the supermarket, it's now a hassle to get him to sit in a shopping cart. He wants to 'walk.' This can mean a quick grocery trip takes forever! The best I have managed is to negotiate sitting in the basket part of the cart. But he will often stand. Today I actually bought him a book so he could 'read' while I picked up some items.
Tonight he kept us up chattering and singing and complaining. I had to repeat the song "Polar bear polar bear what do you hear" based on the Eric Carle book I had bought him earlier (otherwise he throws a fit and at 9:30pm, I give in to any fit - just let me sleep!)
He finally rested on our bedside table saying "I so tired," and fell asleep on its cool glass surface.
He will ask to go to nursery now, and ask to wear his gorilla T-shirt.
He takes his little stool and sets it up in front of the fridge (which he can now open - gasp!) and then he starts selecting what he wants.
He reads his little books as he turns the pages.
He tells short stories to narrate our lives in real time.
Now that he can get into any kitchen cabinet, despite the child lock, I have had to rearrange the location of some things - especially my cleaning sprays.
He clearly tells me when he doesn't want something or doesn't want to do something.
He also dictates who gets to strap him in the car seat and who pushes his stroller (if he agrees to get in it).
At the supermarket, it's now a hassle to get him to sit in a shopping cart. He wants to 'walk.' This can mean a quick grocery trip takes forever! The best I have managed is to negotiate sitting in the basket part of the cart. But he will often stand. Today I actually bought him a book so he could 'read' while I picked up some items.
Tonight he kept us up chattering and singing and complaining. I had to repeat the song "Polar bear polar bear what do you hear" based on the Eric Carle book I had bought him earlier (otherwise he throws a fit and at 9:30pm, I give in to any fit - just let me sleep!)
He finally rested on our bedside table saying "I so tired," and fell asleep on its cool glass surface.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)