Diary of a Confused Mom: August 30th 2015

Little Z is into scribbling these days. 

He sit happily and makes lot marks on his paper. A couple of times he ventured his artistic talents on the wall next to him and I cleaned it up and reminding him sweetly, "only on paper." He would nod and chirp "ok," so nicely that I really thought he'd oblige.

Today, he was upstairs and awfully quiet, so I went to check on him. I had one of those moments that closely resemble the mom who came home to find her two young kids had covered her living room in white fluffy flour. Her voice saying "oh my gosh" in a pained whisper kept playing in my ear as I scanned our top floor. 

He'd made it his canvas with an orange marker and an assortment of colored pencils. His scribble marks were everywhere. The desk. The stair rails. The plastic toy boxes. His new clothes. His delicate skin. And every. Single. Wall.

We started steaming and wiping away. I've recently discovered that our steamer is probably my most treasure possession in this phase of life. We were so focused that I realized Little Z was once again out of sight and very quiet. So I ran back downstairs to find him covered in ointment. One shower later we have no orange marker lines and a very greasy little fellow.

Thought of the day:

Stress is man-made.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 28th 2015

I think Little Z has developed the ability to raise his body temperature and running fake fever that entitles him to be picked up early from nursery. Today was the third time I pick him up due to a low grade fever, and then once home - nothing. The first time this happened, I thought both my thermometers weren't working. The doctor confirmed he was perfectly fine. Just a toddler and already devising ways to get out of school!

This afternoon he also graced me with a full fledged fit. The irrational, nothing-on-this-earth-will-soothe-me kind of fit. I was impressed that, this didn't phase me nearly as much as it used to. I packed a screaming toddler (I'm pretty sure the entire neighborhood could hear him) into the car seat - against his will - and strapped him in. Then I drove calmly and slowly trying to soothe with some words and songs but knowing that as the screams got louder I should speak less.

It took less than five minutes. I drove home, settled him into bed and then plopped down on the couch remembering a recent conversation I had with another mother of three, who's 4 year old was just about to start preschool. 

She was pretty upset because he was her last and this meant the end a phase. I completely related and even almost teared up. His first are definitely my lasts, as the blogger with three children had eloquently said in her post that had moved me to tears.

Then the mom said, "Now what do I do?" 

Surprisingly, that remark totally startled me. All I could think was, I have enough project ideas to fill my lifetime if I could ever be spared more than 10 minutes to myself to focus.


Thought of the day:

The more I experience, the more I realize how limited my experience is.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 27th 2015

We've been trying to leave a wheat-free life for about a week now and O has thrown unimaginable fits about his diet change. It's funny when he describes how his friends and relishing their pizzas and chubby sandwiches while he munches on alfalfa sprouts. It's also kind of funny to watch how he rushes to the fridge and binges on a loaf of bread in the evening and his muscles relax after he's had his 'fix.'

But the fits aren't funny at all. And they go on and on and on. Every day. It's exhausting. Helps that my wheat-less life is making me calmer and more energetic though.


Thought of the day:

I think there is a negative correlation between true faith and talking to everyone about how strong and true your faith is. I know this because I did some research. By watching people and deciding this is probably true.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 24th 2015

The coolest thing happened to me this morning. I packed up Little Z in his stroller for a walk/grocery run and just as I turned the corner I saw a falcon, right there on the fence, within arm's reach, staring right at me!

I was so excited, I started telling the falcon how exciting it was to see it. Naturally the poor thing fled the babbling woman and perched in a tree.

These fascinating creatures have been hanging around on the power lines outside. We keep hoping it doesn't get to backyard bunny (the hare we discovered in our backyard) or the new tiny newborn hare we found the other day under my car. Although, if they ever witnessed it, I know my boys would relish the experience of live predator/prey action.

What an honor to come face to face with our falcon.

Diary of a Confused Mom: August 20th 2015

O was frustrated last night as he shared with me that he has been pondering (rather impatiently) his "reason for being on this earth," and his greater purpose in life.

I was gently informing him that many people take a long time to figure that out, and I gave myself as an example. At this point he squirmed violently and yelled out "You know your reason for being here! You were put on this earth to be a great mom!"

Secretly delighted, I couldn't help but wonder where this young man was that morning when, once again, my 'rules' had made me the target of his hatred and misery.

Diary of a Confused Mom August 19th 2015

I love the first few moments right after the rain stops. For a short while everything is so crisp, fresh still and absolutely beautiful. I can feel my whole being relax in those moments.

Diary of a Confused Mom August 18th 2015

One off to Middle School, one off to Elementary School and one off to Preschool. Not to complain but it's incredibly silent here. 

Diary of a Confused Mom August 17th 2015

This morning when we brought little Z to our bed, he was super cuddly. I felt so blessed and thankful as I breathed in his sweet shampooed hair and he lay flopped on top of me to 'hug.'

It's been a hectic month of new beginnings (that are also endings). He turned two, started part time nursery, was weaned and has begun to show promise of permanently sleeping through the night.

In addition, O just went to his Middle School orientation! They robbed us of a year by moving fifth grade to Middle School this year. 

So today, I feel we are definitely moving to a different phase of life. And it's emotional.

Diary of a Confused Mom August 16th 2015

Today I received a compliment of the highest order. A friend told us that when he's fed up trying to get his boys off electronic gadgets, he threatens to apply my rules and limitations on electronic use.

Apparently, when faced with this potential fate, they comply immediately.

 I'm going to interpret all this as a big compliment...

Diary of a Confused Mom August 12th 2015

I taught the boys how to use our coffee machine to make a latte and an espresso yesterday. I told them it would come in handy for occasions like my birthday or mother's day. These are at least 8 months away but it pays to start early.

We also enjoyed some bonding time last night before bed, chatting and joking which we haven't in some time.

This morning, I awoke to a latte in bed. They used the milk that doesn't froth so it was quite a 'flat' latte but it was the most perfect cup of coffee I have ever had :)

Diary of a Confused Mom August 11th 2015

After much debate (mainly us raising a strong case against it), O started tackle football this season.

This has meant that he comes home to his wide eyed younger brother with tales from practice that amaze and intrigue him but also spark the deepest chords of envy.

I wonder if it's the macho looking gear or permission to shove each other to the ground or what it is about American football that captivates men in this way.

Diary of a Confused Mom August 10th 2015

I think we're stuck in some sort of complain - whine - argue cycle and just can't get out.

On another note, as my weaning efforts have pretty much come to a successful closure, I am slowly feeling like my old and real self is returning...

Diary of a Confused Mom August 7th 2015

Second day at nursery and he cried even harder. :S

Diary of a Confused Mom August 4th 2015

Today was the first day of nursery for Little Z. It was emotional for both of us but I think we did a reasonable job. There are some advantages to having a bit of previous experience I guess.

Diary of a Confused Mom August 3rd 2015

Snuck out of my room at 5:30 am to get a few peaceful minutes with my cup of tea while Z still slept. I was discouraged by the sounds from upstairs. Obviously the boys were up! I still went ahead and made the tea and retreated to our dining table to resume the 1,000 piece puzzle I've been hooked on the past couple of days. It took about 5 seconds before I was swarmed by them and in an additional 5 minutes, Little Z was awake and joining in.

My tea ended up cold and abandoned and I was somehow whisked into a morning of  breakfast making, kid refereeing, lunchbox preparing chaos. 

And now, the older two are at camp, Little Z is napping and I am so blissfully sipping my tea and enjoying some down time. It took 5 hours but it's still worth it.

Diary of a Confused Mom: July 31st 2015

Met Little Z's nursery teacher today. He was very interested in exploring the classroom. I really feel he's ready but I know that come Tuesday, there may be tears. Not yet 100% sure who will be doing the crying.