Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 26th 2016

Its the very first time that I have to leave my older two in their dad's care, for an extended time, during their school year.

As I frantically go about my daily routine with them, I thought of two crucial notes to leave him with:

1. Feed them well, very well and very often.
2. Good luck.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 22nd 2016

I still can't get over how terrible my first haircut here has been. 

One bad hairdresser choice and...

I'm one of the bee gees.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 20th 2016

We are entering the teenage phase now with an unmistakeable preteen. I'm starting to understand what people are referring to when they mention the hormonal rollercoaster of this age.

And I once again realize, as I have time and again on this parenting journey, you never really 'know' what a parent is talking about until you've actually been there. you think you 'get it' but getting it takes on a whole new level when it's your child that's growling and snarling like a wild animal one minute and hugging you like a sweet cuddly toddler the next.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 15th 2016

After a week at home with a sick child...

I say choose your battles.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 14th 2016

My notes for today:

1. I thought it would be easier having a child go on an overnight trip the second time around, but I'm missing T and his sweet cuddles very much.

2. It's tough seeing your child make choices you know aren't right for them and remembering to guide and not intervene in every little thing.

3. I think I have brain fog and milk is the culprit.

4. Sick children are exhausting. I need some space.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 13th 2016

I received this message from my language app today:

I'm up from 11% in June, and my ability to request items in a store or have short conversations with people (who often correct me) tells me I'm definitely improving!

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 11th 2016

I took this picture today as I was leaving for my yoga class. Bubbles signing I love you to me as I was leaving.

Every time I look at it, I feel the urge to make every moment count...

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 10th 2016

I am usually starved of time to myself 

And this is why I've been reluctant to devote a lot of volunteering time at Z's nursery, even though I went in for a couple of hours last week and remembered how much I love being around young children.

Today, all of a sudden, it hit me that this could be my very last opportunity to volunteer at one of my children's nurseries. 

What if he really does go to PreK next year at the 'big school'? Then this chapter of my life will just come to an abrupt end.

I called his teacher and signed up to start volunteering on the spot. I may turn it into a weekly activity.

So funny how we get so overwhelmed raising young children, and just in a flash they're coming home from their five day trip refusing to hug you.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 7th 2016

The big day finally came.

We all rushed excitedly to school to pick up O this afternoon after his five day trip. 

He greeted us by refusing to give me a hug and quite honestly told me that he didn't think about us at all during his trip.

Makes me question the goal of this little endeavor. Was it to promote independence or some sort of five day boot camp to turn him into a rebellious teenager?

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 6th 2016

For some reason, whenever we call out to Z he assumes it's roll call and answers back "Here!"

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 5th 2016

Sometimes I wish there was a way to unfriend, unfollow and hide posts from people, in real life.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 4th 2016

Is it normal to cry when I see O's unmade bed, or his books lying around his room? And today I woke up feeling very sick. Week body and aching muscles and limbs. He's been gone two days. 

I am NOT going to handle the empty nest situation very well, am I?

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 3rd 2016

Sent O away on his camping trip this morning. Away from home with no communication option. Just measly updates by his teacher.

I never imagined it would hit me this hard. I miss him so incredibly much. It seems like punishment that I can't even just call to see if he's alright.

How on earth did we get to the point? He's now heading off on his own, for a whole five days, to be independent?

Today I decided that going away for college and marriage, is off the table for all my boys.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): October 1st 2016

Today is one of those days where, one hour into it, I wish I could go back to bed and start over.

Diary of a Confused Mom (in Morocco): September 30th 2016

Would have never envisioned myself one day saying:

 "Please don't rollerblade in the house."